During the healing process for both husband and wife there is a lot of swimming. And it would be nice if the swim only consisted of calm waters that were shallow enough to stand when you need to. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. The water is sometimes calm, but often it’s like being tossed in the middle of the ocean during a storm, then coming up to a waterfall. You need to turn away from the waterfall and swim in the other direction, all while being tossed around by huge waves and dodging sharks. That sounds completely possible, right?
Too many people make this healing process seem easy. It’s not. And not only is it not easy, but it never ends. You better be willing to swim for the rest of your lives. Some days you might be able to float on calm waters, but there are going to be days where the swimming will be so hard and the water will be so cold that you will feel like drowning is a better option.
If I just give up, let myself rest, and drown, then I can just die and it will all be over. No more fight, no more pain. All done.
We can apply this to any part of this battle. A man can choose to drown in lust, instead of fighting against the current. A woman can choose to drown in depression and insecurity, instead of reaching for Jesus’ hand to pull her out. We can hold on to trends, movies that have blatant sensuality, and inappropriate settings, and in turn, drown in the culture’s ideas of perfection. Or, we can swim with all we’ve got and ask God to push us along when our limbs get too weak.
It’s so easy to feel like dying. It’s the easy way out. Drowning in anything (even in self-pleasure) seems like a good option when you compare it on the surface.
Hm. Swim against this waterfall and feel like I’m getting nowhere. Or … stop fighting and drown in the world. I mean, the world isn’t that bad. And I can still drown in the world and take Jesus’ hand at the very last minute. No biggie. The world is our biggest cheerleader when it comes to drowning. In fact, not only does the world cheer us on, it makes us think drowning is desirable. Anything self-centered is desirable. Anything easy. Anything that “feels good.” Feeling good is what matters most. So, while drowning may be uncomfortable in a sense, it is a relief … because it means no more suffering, no more fighting, no more swimming against currents.
But this drowning … it leads to death. And although you may feel like dying (spiritually, emotionally, or physically) sometimes, dying isn’t really want you want. The devil wants to kill your desire for God, your desire to do things that don’t feel good (Jesus on the cross) in order to make a difference in the world, in order to glorify God and show that hope isn’t just about emotions. The devil wants you to stop and find rest in sin. He wants to keep everyone in this state of drowning so that they don’t even realize they are in sin. He just wants them to think they are good people who love God, but don’t live like pastors. In fact, he is even crafty enough that he’s got many, many pastors chained. Even pastors believe they are good people when behind the scenes they are using women to please their appetite for lust.
My desire for you is to keep swimming. And when it gets harder than it’s ever been before, that’s the most important time for you to keep pushing forward. Don’t think about how tough the swim is, instead … think about God. Sort of like running on a treadmill. If you focus on how far you’ve gone and how far you want to go, you will feel like giving up before you reach your goal. But if you stop focusing on the time, the miles, and just run and focus on something else, you will exceed your goal without even realizing it.
When you feel like dying … turn to God. He is your stability. He can give you the ability to swim against the current and stay on the right path. And remember, this isn’t a battle we win overnight. It’s a battle we fight every day. We choose to swim instead of drowning. And the second we stop to rest, or stop to ponder what it’s like to drown, well, the current will pull you back and before you know it you’ll be under water again.
Stay strong. Reach for the One who can walk on water. And remember that He never gives you anything more than you can bear, even if you think it’s too much, He knows best. He did with Job. I have no doubt He knows what He’s doing with you, too. Look at this swim as something to glorify God, something to make you stronger, not something to make you weaker. Keeping going. Keep going. Keep going! Don’t let the world bring you down. There is so much more to your life than your pain.
