Letter from a hurting, honest wife:
Sometimes I wake up and want a divorce. I know my husband didn’t cheat on me, at least literally. He just looked at porn since they day we met and didn’t tell me until I found a link on our computer ten years later. Those ten years were so special to me. We had three kids, started a home together, and he was so sweet. We had our issues like any married couple does but overall it was so wonderful. Now I am heartbroken. I don’t know what to do. I can’t believe I’m considering a divorce, but the pain is awful.
I don’t know for sure if he has stopped lusting over other women or not. How can I believe him? He tells me he has, but he lied to me for ten years. I even remember him talking about other men he knew who struggled with porn, but how he never did. Now I find out that he was looking at that stuff too, behind my back, while I was pregnant, while I was sleeping in our bedroom that I gave myself to him in for so many years.
I thought I was the only woman in his mind and heart. I thought I was the only one he wanted. How can I get over this? How can I desire to stay with him? How can I desire love when he didn’t love me all those years enough to tell me the truth? I don’t know what to do. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t even struggle that much with my own insecurities, I just feel like I can’t trust the one person I always trusted. I can’t be sure of him. I don’t know who he is anymore. I feel like everything is a lie.
How can I get over this? How can I love anyway? Is there really hope for me?
Read my response to this woman later this week.
