Everything is for man to love Christ and all the other problems are taken care of.
Elder Porphyrios
We’re often asked for step-by-step instructions on recovering from porn addiction, healing from a husband’s addiction, and getting a marriage back to a beautiful state. We don’t believe there are a set of rules that work for every marriage or person. We don’t believe that psychology, workbooks, and blogs like this can attain true healing and change. These things may be keys, they may even be the wind that pushes a door open, but a person must walk through the door by their own accord. If they don’t, they can have all the spare keys in the world and a door that’s wide open before them, but they’ll stand in the cold and never experience the warmth inside.
You don’t walk through the door by self-will or obedience. You don’t walk through the door because you want to please your spouse or yourself. You walk through the door because you love God too much to stay outside. You want His warmth, His beauty, His Spirit in your life.
Out of love for God you go through the door. Love for God changes you. Obedience is a tool in that change, but it stems from love for God. Those who love God with a fierce passion spend more hours thinking of Him than they do their marriage or what their husband looks at. Those who love God with an immense, clear passion love Him too much to objectify women.
The level to which we forgive, repent, and experience joy, can be measured by how much we love God. There are so many aids to healing from this. I write this blog to be one of those. There are great books on the topic, workbooks, websites, and accountability programs. There are tons of resources and aids. There are tons of step-by-step instructions. But for those of you women who are hurting so bad you want to die sometimes. For those of you who have husband’s who aren’t changing and your heart is breaking over your marriage. For those of you with children who hear you two fighting every night. For those of you who have completely changed your hearts about porn but have wives who refuse to give you another change.
For any of you who can’t get out of the pain to find hope … the only advice I can give to you is this:
Everything is for man to love Christ and all the other problems are taken care of.
Elder Porphyrios
