I can honestly say I love December. I can’t believe this month caused me such devastation at one point. I still remember that day like it were yesterday, but now it brings so much hope. I talk to you, listen to you cry, hear your stories of pain, and I have hope. I’ve been there and here I am now. This entire experience has taught me that there is hope for even the most dreadful marriages.
I just saw a statistic recently. 52% of Americans are not married and marriage is becoming more and more “unnecessary” to Americans. Isn’t it sad? Marriage has become something you do if it feels good, but what’s the point if it doesn’t? Being “tied down” isn’t appealing. But having fun and partying is. Giving up our lives for another person isn’t appealing, but masturbating is.
This breaks my heart. But I know that even for those 52% of Americans … there is hope. When you are crying because you don’t feel like enough to your husband, there is hope. When your husband is exasperated because he just wants to “live” and be “normal” and you want him to stop looking at porn, there is hope.
There is so much hope. I’ve seen terrible marriages end up being the most beautiful marriages. It’s those marriages that I admire. The ones who have fought for what they have. The ones who have endured flames for each other. The ones who have changed because they love each other so much.
There is hope for those who want it. The key is wanting it more than we want our own selfish desires. If a man is willing to change … if a woman is willing to change … if both are willing to seek God with all they have and deal with the pain of growing more into His likeness … their marriage will sparkle with true beauty.
But if a man doesn’t want it … if a woman doesn’t want it … they’ll end up just another divorce statistic. Another tally in the sad reality that selfish ambition has become more sought than true love. I hate this and I don’t want this for anyone. I love marriage, even through the hard times … because there is no relationship on earth (save parenting toddlers) that causes you to really, truly grow and change. There is no person in the world who can tell you your flaws like your spouse can. And that is a beautiful thing. Because it’s in our flaws that God is magnified. His perfection is made perfect in our weakness. We are not God. We never will be. So to have someone in our lives who constantly reminds us that we’re not perfect, well, that’s such a blessing.
It’s just that we sometimes would rather be another divorce statistic than enjoy the blessing of growth. I’m praying for every marriage this Christmas. That every husband and wife would know the beauty of fighting for true love. That marriage would be more desired than selfish ambitions.
