Letter from a wife:
I found porn on our computer and then he confessed a few days after I confronted him that this had been going on for years and that is had recently been getting worse (porn shops, strip clubs, etc.).
I believed that we were purely for each other. I had no idea about his secret life. It left me shattered, further broken and searching my heart and mind and body for what I could have done differently to keep him and satisfy him.
I felt worthless, like he had confirmed the things that every other man had told me before.
My husband has been porn and masturbation free for a year a half. I still struggle with feelings of worthlessness and that I am not enough for him. I doubt his words and have to daily give my trust up to God in order to function and believe him. I don’t think this is an addiction that has an end point. It will always cause me pain and some level of doubt. I trust that God will heal him, but my trust in him is still so broken that it is hard to believe that he will always choose God over porn.
My hope for the future?
That I can learn to put all my trust in Jesus and not rely on trusting my husband.
