Recently a lot of women have asked me what I think about the beach. I mean, a lot of you. Generally the question goes something like this: My husband (or family) really wants to go to the beach this summer, but I am so uncomfortable with it. I don’t know how to just get over it. Am I crazy? Should we go to the beach? My husband thinks that he is fine and he will just look away, but I can’t help my insecurities from coming up with this topic.
There are some people who will agree with me on this, and some who won’t. Most of them will probably be women. Here’s the thing … your husband cheated on you with images of other naked/half-naked women. His goal in seeking purity should be to stray from those images as much as he can. If he doesn’t need to use a computer, why bother? If he doesn’t need to go to a beach in the dead of summer, why bother? I think these choices show where a man’s priorities lie. For us, personally, George wouldn’t want to go to a beach in the middle of the summer even if I begged him. He knows it’s not a good place for a man who wants to stay on the path of purity. Looking away from a practically nude woman every three seconds is not how he wants to spend his vacation.
Me? I have no desire to go to a beach in the summer either. I would never wear a bathing suit around another man after all this (I know, I’m crazy, huh?) and I don’t want to be around other 90% nude people (nor do I want my kids to see that). Oh, sure, the beach is fun. So is smoking pot (to some people). Oh, sure, the beach is “what people do” it’s what “I grew up doing.” You have to go the beach!
Well, where are your priorities? Do you want to risk purity for the sake of fun? I wouldn’t want to do that. But even more than this, my question to couples is: how long has it been since you’ve opened up this door and how does the wife feel?
A woman’s insecurities shouldn’t be catered to. We shouldn’t feed her insecurities by locking ourselves in our houses for years. But we should avoid places that give both husband and wife a 90% chance of sinning. Men, for lusting over other women. And women, for coveting what other women have or simply making her husband and idol again.
You wanna know what I think? I think the beach during a week in April or October is just as nice and way more empty. I think purity and marriage is more important than a beach or a movie or a TV. I think a marriage healing from the devastation of porn should be thriving before a couple even considers a setting such as a beach. But that’s just me.
If your marriage is still in the beginning stage of this … I wouldn’t even be asking this question. Instead, I’d be asking, “How can we love each other better?”
