One Man’s Take on Modesty

Guest post from Luke Gilkerson, community manager of Covenant Eyes:

The topic of modesty tends to make people shutter as they image a return to Puritanical ideals. Why? Because fashion is one of the great mainstays of personal freedom: we think people  must be backward if they tell us how to dress.

Addressing the subject of modesty, my primary concern is not the world of fashion. Lisa Armstrong, Fashion Editor of The Sunday Times, says, “Modesty has been creeping back into vogue for some time.” That may be, but regardless of what we think is in vogue, my primary concern is not about what sells, but why it sells.

Puritan preacher Richard Baxter once told women in his congregation:

And you must not lay a stumbling block in their [men's] way, not blow up the fire of their lust, nor make your ornaments snares but you must walk among sinful persons as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder, or else you may see the flame which you would not foresee, when it is too late to quench it.

Baxter puts his finger on a topic that is near and dear to me: personal sexual purity. In a word, Baxter is advocating modesty, not just of dress, but of actions and attitudes. Baxter puts his finger on one of the primary motives for modesty: concern not to light the fires of lust in men.


Should we heed Baxter’s advice? I believe we should, but for Christians modesty should not be motivated by what preachers have said but what God thinks. Does the infinite, eternal God, with all of his concern for global affairs and natural disasters, really care about what a woman wears?

First Timothy 2:8-10 answers the question:

I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

Some knowledge of Roman culture is helpful for understanding what Paul is saying. Paul is writing this letter a church leader in the city of Ephesus (in modern day Turkey). In that day, Greek hairstyles for women were fairly simple: hair was parted in the middle and pinned in the back. But a culture change was sweeping the region. Women in the imperial household were wearing their hair with elaborate curls and braids with expensive ornaments. The elite throughout the empire copied this style.

For Paul, the appearance of braids and ornaments was more about what the fashion communicated. They carried connotations of imperial luxury. It conjured up images of notoriously immoral Empresses like Valeria Messalina and Poppeaea Sabina, ancient equivalents of Cosmopolitan cover girls.

In contrast, Paul wants Christian women to model modesty. The word translated “modesty” in the original language denotes the idea of having respect for oneself. Outwardly, a woman’s mode of dress should reflect a certain kind of inward character. Our clothing should reflect “what is proper for women who profess godliness”—that is, someone who worships God. For Paul, what we wear reflects what we value.

The apostle Peter says something very similar in his first epistle (1 Peter 3:3-4):

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Theologian Wayne Grudem wisely points out that Peter is not making a hard and fast rule about the clothes we wear. When he says “Do not let your adorning be external,” he’s obviously not saying women should walk around naked. He’s saying women should not consider clothing the source of their beauty. Clothing should not be what women look to for their “adorning.” It is about inner character qualities.

Thus, from a biblical perspective, modesty springs from the heart. Attitude and motivation is central. It is not first and foremost about what we wear but why we wear it.

My friend Rick Thomas, a Biblical counselor, tells women to ask themselves, “What are you trying to accomplish by what you wear? ” When you shop for clothes, do your selections reflect character trains of humility, purity, and self-respect? If others looked through your wardrobe, who or what would they say you are trying to identify with? Would they say you care more about adorning yourself to mimic the latest fashion trend or adorning your soul to mimic Christ?

That being said, modesty is also about external appearance. Just as Peter and Paul gave practical examples to the church about what modesty should look like based on the cultural norms of the day, so we should seek to give practical examples for women in the church today. Modesty is at its core about attitude, but if attitude is all we stress, then we miss out on practicality.

On a practical level, the issue of sexual values is central to modesty. As I see it, this means understanding how the culture we live in has shaped men’s sexuality. Just as an elaborate hairstyle was one visual cue denoting seductiveness in first-century Ephesus, so there are many visual cues today.

Let me be specific for a moment. Many of the visual cues for me have to do with how much clothing does not hide, and I’m not just talking about short skirts and plunging necklines. I’m also talking about form-fitting clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. I’m talking about being able to see bra straps or the lines of undergarments visible under clothing. I’m talking about pants/jeans or shirts with patterns or words that draw attention right to a woman’s curves. I’m also talking about the way a woman carries herself: her posture, the way she walks, the way she looks at a man, the way she hugs, the way she sits. There are many examples one could give.

Before I’m pinned as a legalist, I don’t recommend any woman base her understanding of what is immodest on one man’s opinion. One of the best resources I’ve seen about this, especially for younger women, is The Rebelution’s “Modesty Survey .” This survey is meant to be a conversation between Christian men and women about the subject of modesty. Over 200 Christian girls submitted their questions. In less than twenty days, over 1,600 Christian guys (12 and up) responded. The survey results represent men across the spectrum. Christian teenagers (ages 12-19) provide the largest sampling of any age group, with the average age for survey participants being 22.4 years. The survey results don’t attempt to create hard and fast rules for how to dress, but simply give women basic understandings about what can cause a man to stumble. If you are a girl who is curious about what guys think regarding modesty, I recommend you peruse the survey results.

In closing let me give some one final thought about modesty. Yes, as a Christian woman, you should care about not placing your body before your brothers in Christ as a stumbling block. But you should also remember that your sexuality is worth far more than what the makers of fashion dictate. Do not give away the treasures of your God-given ability to woo, to romance, and to attract to world at-large. By not being intentional about what you wear, or by being intentionally seductive, you are placing a CLEARANCE price tag on what God calls immeasurably priceless.

Timothy Paul Jones writes, The clothes that our children wear do not merely cover the nakedness of their flesh; they shape and reflect the contours of our children’s souls. What I encourage my child to wear is a statement not merely of fashion but of theology and axiology [the study of value]—and this link between our theology and our wardrobes is not a recent phenomenon… 


Inappropriate clothing presents to the public a part of the body that ought to be preserved as private property. The three-inch gap between shirt and jeans devalues the child by turning her body into a tool to attract the opposite gender’s attention, instead of a vessel of beauty for the glory of God.

What I am suggesting is that these fusions of cotton, polyester, and iron-on transfers are not values-neutral. They are declarations of what we believe, what we value, and what we expect our children to believe and to value.