Men often email us asking for practical steps to getting rid of the desire to look at porn. They ask for such systematic answers. There are some of those out there. Lots of practical steps to take for this. But if you’re taking those steps and you’re not on the right path the steps won’t get you anywhere. You’ll just end up treading super hard on a treadmill and getting nowhere.
If a man wants to get somewhere what he really needs is simple. He needs to desires the things of God and literally, literally, literally come to a point where he is appalled by lust, sin, pornography, and objectifying women.
If he isn’t appalled by it, then he’s not on the right path. You can set up accountability and internet filters and get support groups together and read every book in the market, but those things will mean nothing if you aren’t on the right path. This is why we really stress the importance of stepping away from the world, cutting off all entertainment and distractions, and stepping into silence before God. Get to know Him, draw near to Him, learn more about Him. Spend more time with God than you do anyone or anything else. Get rid of idols and masks and stand before Him with purity of heart. Allow Him to cleanse your heart.
What you really need, dear husband’s, is more of God in your life. In this culture it’s so very tough to do this. There are so many distractions. So much noise. So many whispers in your ears that tell you to “just take a second look, it won’t hurt anyone.” You must come to a point where your wife cannot deny that you are obsessed with God. That your addiction is toward nothing but God.
When George got to this point I couldn’t deny his change. I tried to, but I just couldn’t. He loved God more than I did back then. He sought purity while I drenched myself with self-pity, wanting to be pitied by everyone, including God. Both of us, men and women, need more God. We need to pursue Him with all of our hearts, souls, and minds.
The practical steps that can be taken to rid porn are great tools, but you have to have a desire for purity and a hate for sin. It’s the key to your healing. So cut out your eye and consume yourself with your Father in Heaven. The only One who can truly help you through this.
