Letter from a wife:
When I found out my husband was watching porn it was after 3 months of not having intercourse with him. I understood then. By the time I came home, he was already satisfied. It hurt like crazy.
I am a former porn addict myself. God hooked at 15 when I found a tape in my brother’s dresser drawer. I understand what it’s like to repent and move on – and then fall short again. It took a few months to even believe my husband wasn’t watching it anymore. In the midst of that, I was tempted and felt deeply ashamed. We talked about it often and worked on our own intimacy in the bedroom. I would say it took at least a year and half for me not to constantly think about it and trust him. (For months, I checked the cable bill every month.)
I felt like I was not good enough for him. Maybe I was too big or did not have enough experience in the bedroom.
I don’t think it is healthy for couples to view porn together. I believe it leads to couples to expect a level of sexual height that you may or may not be able to achieve. We don’t know if the porn stars are acting or really feeling what they are portraying. If you watch it enough, you may begin to compare your sexual experience with what you see. This is dangerous and unhealthy.
I pray that my marriage will continue to get stronger and grow in Christ daily.
