Most girls enter the sex industry because it seems appealing. It pays a lot of money in a short amount of time. Some single mothers need money and feel like they have no other option to care for their children. College-age girls need finances for school, or a way to make quick cash. There are countless other reasons girls are lured by the money, but like Stephanie (a former stripper) said to me, “The money will hook you in and keep you there until you bleed.”
Add “glamour” and attention on top of the money and some girls will fall without question. You can’t turn on your TV without seeing a half-naked woman. Everything but little blurred circles for private parts are seen on MTV. So why would any girl who doesn’t know God’s love feel ashamed of flaunting her body, too? She’ll have a make-up artist, a hair stylist, provocative photo shoots, and tons of men wanting her. Seems appealing, so they go for it.
Then, like so many porn stars, they realize porn isn’t as glamorous as they thought it would be. They get punched and beaten. Producers force them to remain in uncomfortable positions for long periods of time while they take pictures. Many porn stars contract diseases like Gonorrhea and Chlamydia more frequently than we get a common cold. Shelley Lubben hid her tears in a towel tossed her way to wipe her face after a scene. Some porn stars can’t have children, and some have multiple abortions. They are an object of man’s lust, not a man’s heart. An object of depravity, instead of the life-giving beauty they were created to provide the world.
It’s easy to be upset with porn stars or jealous of porn stars when our husband’s and boyfriend’s constantly choose them over us, but what our husband’s (and we) don’t realize is that porn star’s are often hurting more than our marriages. Some girls involved with the sex industry may hide their pain, just like some wives hide behind masks like all men do it … I’m confident and the stuff he looks at doesn’t threaten me … I watch it with him, and it’s not that bad. Porn stars, strippers, normal teenage girls who wear inappropriate clothing … they’re hiding and they’re hurting behind walls of stone.
They want to be loved. Just like us.
We want our husband’s to cherish us. They want a husband — or someone — to cherish them. So, what do we do? What do they do?
We do whatever we can to get the attention we crave … or … we hide. And while we are crying ourselves to sleep because our husband’s our masturbating to other women, many of those same porn stars are holding back tears as they are forced to do another degrading scene. There were many times in my marriage that I believed I’d only be able to keep my husband’s attention if I acted like a porn star. Maybe then he’d really love me, I thought. Love me enough to not look elsewhere. But that’s not true. Porn stars aren’t loved. They want to be. But they are used, craved like a drug, then tossed aside for someone else, some other high.
I think too many women in this world try to deny the fact that they want love. They stop believing in soul-mates. They stop believing in true love. But I can’t help but believe in true love and that the heart of a woman beats with passion for this kind of love (whether in marriage or friendship). Me, you, and even the porn stars so many men glue their eyes to … I truly believe we all want real, deep love. We don’t want to be drooled over. Sure, there may be a part of every woman that wants to be lusted over, but that’s not our hearts. Just like the heart of a man doesn’t want to lust over woman after woman.
We all want to love and be loved.
Sometimes we just lose the light in our eyes, like so many girls and women who get lured into the sex industry. The world tells us we want to spend our lives being an object, beautified, and lusted over. It tells us we aren’t beautiful enough, kind enough, good enough. The lies spin around the hearts of our men, making them believe lust is no big deal, making them want that high so much they can’t help but click their mouse to the next lustful image. But truth tells us the opposite.
We, women, want to be loved, cherished, and valued for all we are worth. We don’t want to be tossed aside. That light in our eyes — in her eyes? It should burn bright. So bright that a man can’t help but realize the worth of every woman. So bright that we could never let ourselves become an object of lust. We should know our worth. Wives, you should know your worth. You should also know the worth of a porn star. She’s worth as much as you, me, and every other person in this world.
We’re all precious in God’s sight. And we’re all victims of porn. We can’t blame porn stars or even our husband’s for what is going on here, for the destruction in our marriages and the pain in our eyes. We have to blame the devil and his evil ways. He knows what he’s doing.
Let’s stop allowing him to dim the lights in our eyes, in the eyes of those in the industry, and in the eyes of our fantasy-driven men.
Prayer.
You may not think it works, but it can change this cycle. So can our hearts … if we allow them to change. If we allow God to show us this industry for what it really is. If we allow ourselves to truly believe we are not the only victims. And if our wonderful men in this world can do the same — get some eye drops for lust, clear their visions, and stand up against the power this industry has over so many hearts and lives.
This is a fight. So, let’s fight. 
