As women we really concern ourselves with the way we look. And there are studies to prove it. Saw some stats recently (can’t remember where from) that around 90% of women in America are insecure and think they need to lose weight or change something about themselves in order to be beautiful. Also said that 70% of women base the “ideal” look on magazines/advertisements/models. And 50% base it off of what men think of them. It’s no wonder porn rips us apart when we find out the love of our life is looking at it.
According to those stats they aren’t very many of us who don’t base our ideal look off of what other people think or do or look like. And I’m curious what the other percent base their ideal looks off of, or if they even care. Something tells me they do.
This stuff plagues me. I hate that. It’s not constant anymore. When I first found out about George’s porn struggle I couldn’t walk into the mall without feeling depressed and wanting to change 427 things about myself.
Sexy images are around every corner. Or airbrushed images that look nothing like real life.
Some women shrug it off, “Oh, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s fake anyway.” And some women even justify their husband’s for looking at pornography and lustful images by saying, “It’s just how men are. As long as he comes home to me, I’m fine with it.”
Those statements don’t settle well with me. This stuff IS a big deal. It’s the reason why so many men are drowning in porn and so many women feel the need to change something about themselves to be secure in their beauty.
Maybe I have an ideal standard when it comes to beauty and the way women perceive it. I want women (and myself) to realize that our worth is far beyond worldly standards of perfect curves, make-upped faces, and plastic bodies. I want women to realize that God’s opinion is really the only opinion that matters. There’s no need to put on a short skirt to feel worth in a man’s eyes. There’s no need to change hair colors or get breast implants in order to be beautiful. There’s no need to be obsessed with appearance and fashion.
God values a beauty way beyond the superficial beauty this world wants us to strive after. Women are so concerned with this stuff. Most times when I am around a woman one of the first compliments I hear is about something appearance-driven. I don’t even think we realize it. Women size each other up, looking up and down and taking in what they wear. If you’re anything like me you compare. You covet. You want to be something you are not because for some reason (most likely an outside influence) you have an ideal beauty in your head.
And I have an ideal standard for men in this world too. Christian men, really. I want them to see that beauty isn’t what the world wants them to think it is. A lot of women (sadly) desire to change their image because their husband’s are caught up in what the world teaches them to be real beauty (a.k.a. sexiness). Some men spend so much of their lives immersed in pornography, Superbowl commercials, and magazine covers that they lose sight of real beauty. And tons of men don’t have satisfying sexual lives in marriage because their standards are unattainable. That saddens me.
This entire circle saddens me. Because one woman is insecure and feels the need to validate herself by flaunting her outward appearance, so many other women become insecure too. So they turn to the world for validation and the circle continues. Over and over. Grabbing all of us and sucking us under.
I don’t want to be part of that circle. I don’t want to give in to the world.
I want to be humbled. To not care about my outward beauty. To blend in with the crowd, walk this earth unnoticed for beautiful clothes and a pretty face. I want to set my heart so fully on Jesus that the world could never sneak in and steal my “ideal beauty.” My ideal beauty in Jesus Christ.
My ideal beauty is being clothed with the fruits of the spirit. Clothed with everything that is of God and pleasing to HIM — not this world. Clothed of righteousness, humility, and a quiet, humble spirit. A beauty so precious in God’s sight, so distasteful to the world.
Oh how I want the numbers to come down. The percentages of women caught up in the lies of the world, striving after a perfect image, striving after validation from men and how many heads they can turn.
Joshua Harris said in one of his books, “I want a woman who will turn my heart.”
Let it be true of all of us. That we as women turn 500% more hearts than we ever turn heads.
And let us encourage one another and build each other up.
In this world, we need it.
